oh yes

these are pics from last march - spring skiing up on graduation ridge. march is just five days away - yow! - and it is currently 6:42 p.m. and not yet dark outside. i'm already planning new garden spaces, scouring seed catalogs, designing new additions to the cabin, and dreaming up reasons why i don't have to get a job this summer. (see: some people ski during the winter, while others pretend to be teaching; then, in the summer, some people get to lay in the sun, while others log long hours pounding nails. the problem is that some people don't ski enough during the winter and then still have to work in the summer. that makes for bad juju (and no new additions) and is why i probably WILL work this summer. don't worry, dad.) anyways, march = april = may. yeehaw!

brighter days

wow. sorry about that last post. it was a rough day.



i've been trying to download this goofy video of my goofy husband skiing with the crew (ya gotta love him - he doesn't care that he hasn't showered for a month, has duct tape on his pants, and boogers hanging out of his nose), but i can't get it to work. darnnit. anyways, the two pictures are of our new inverter system. it's fancy! all you do is press a button and - voila! - the lights come on. don't ask me how it works. all i know is we no longer have to run the generator all the time to have electricity. such progressive backwoods folks we are.

i'm so frustrated i want to just go to bed

ugh. i want to vent, but i can't because i'm a public school employee, and that just makes me all the more frustrated. i hope all bigoted decision-makers at central office are reading this. (okay, not really. i hope you are all quietly reading the NEA news, or something.) i guess it's just frustrating to try to approach teaching creatively - because that makes me feel good - and then to be shot down, again and again, by the fucking bureacratic machine. and i am even TRYING to jump through the hoops. and still, it doesn't work. and i wish i had more resiliency towards bureacray and stupid fucks - because, man, both are thick in public schools - but i quickly lose umph because the whole education system is so screwed up and upside down and contradictory, and here i am, part of it.
and there goes another kid shuffling off to class.
it just makes me sad, all the way around.

131 / 83

i just got back from my first winter bike ride of the season. before that, i smoked my last cigarette, threw the rest in the fire, and took my blood pressure using the walmart-special machine my dad sent us earlier this year. 131 over 83. that’s flippin high! yesterday, ati’s registered at 116/69. damn her and her denali-summiting abilities! but really, it’s time for me to get my act together. so this afternoon i took my bike down, checked the studded tires, pulled on warm puffy gloves and rode to dede’s and back – which is nothing – and felt my heart being squeezed through the tight grip of some evil-evil hand. four degrees outside, i struggled for my breath, silently cursed toivey for running in the road, and barely noticed the pink sun blaze across the mountains. a sweaty head and runny nose by the time i got back home – and i am only writing about this in my current state of general depletion because i want you to kick me in the ass if you see me faltering in this no more roll-ums endeavor.