before the snow really starts to fall

why is it so hard to learn from our lessons? i'm not sure. but i feel like i've been repeating the same mistakes since i was like 19. it's silly. for instance. i re-remembered today as i was re-shoveling gravel down our atv-trail that i hate big machinery.

the short story: andy hand-dug an atv-trail this summer (so we could drive down to the house) and then, a few weeks ago, we had the opportunity to use free gravel for a car pull-off spot on top of the road. free gravel! place to park! these are positive improvements. and the pull-off turned out great, but it also made the atv-trail steeper. so then - and this is where things start to get messy - we had a friend come with his little bob-cat to try to even-out the grade of the trail. we wanted to get it done before the snow really started to fall. it was night. it was raining. the bob-cat got stuck. and now, everything is torn to shit. today, after work, we were back at square one: hand-digging our atv-trail to make everything ok again.

the sad part is that i learned this from my father, long ago, when the woods at the farm got hacked to pieces when it was logged, in october. so here it is, october, ten years later, our own land, and we're trying to rush shit with big machinery, but in the process, making things worse.

dad would say, "things grow back."

thank god for that.

hehho-hehho

"hehho-hehho" is a strange, sorta-degrading cajun term i learned from my older brother (the rye-guy) this past weekend. i'm not quite sure what it means. but i know louisianders (is that a word??) get pissed and roll their eyes when you say it, and therefore, it's very fun to say. i think we'll name our first child hehho.

here's photos of that handsome andy fella at the tux rental place (minus the vest and tie, which together, were seriously dashing).

"i better stand up straight if i have to stand next to miss louisiana"

this is true.

in the wedding party line-up they ACTUALLY have me standing next to the former miss louisiana (and runner up in the miss america pagent). her name is jennifer. she's very blond, very nice. it's like my brother's sick idea of a joke. i mean talk about hell on the old self-esteem. i was worried i'd be the fat, weird girl at this southern wedding . . . and shit, i hate it when my fears come true.

but. i get to see andy in a tux. and i get to see my brother - one of the truly finest people i know - on the happiest of days. (favorite ryan quote from the rehearsal dinner speech last night: "today is the happiest day of my life. because tomorrow i'll be married to you." poor guy! his intentions were so GOOD . . .)

anyways, it's time to put on those six-inch heels (fear two: falling down steps, hurting knee, dress flying above head) and prepare myself for a night of dancing . . . screw that miss louisiana!

ps. long, documented series of "andy all dressed up" coming soon!

ADDENDUM:
I REGRET ALL I SAID/THOUGHT/IMAGINED ABOUT MS. LOUISIANA. SHE TURNED OUT TO BE A VERY GOOD PERSON. SHE GAVE ME HOPE FOR AMERICA! OR SOMETHING. LIKE: DESPITE THE FACT THAT RACISIM IS ALIVE AND WELL THROUGHOUT OUR COUNTRY, AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THE RICH ARE GETTING RICHER BECAUSE THE POOR ARE GETTING POORER, AND DESPITE A MILLION OTHER SAD TRUTHS ABOUT THIS LAND OF "UNITED" PEOPLE . . . WELL, AT LEAST THIS BEAUTY PAGEANT WINNER TURNED OUT TO BE A KIND, GENEROUS, HUMBLE, OPEN-MINDED GAL.
. . . ALSO. WE FORGOT TO BRING THE CAMERA TO THE WEDDING. WOOPS! SO, "COMING SOON" IS ONLY PART ONE OF AN UNFINISHED PHOTO SERIES OF THAT HANDSOME ANDY FELLA.