up the valley

E winter camps & learns the virtues of CHEESE

2010-03-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

(check out the nibble marks on that hunk of colby-jack! curses and the stink eye for any one who may try to take it away!)

we left home on the tail end of a snowstorm, returned with a second blizzard nipping at our heels, and had one glorious day of sunshine inbetween.

earlier this winter our friend kevin volunteered his old wall tent to use as a semi-permanent camp spot up barabara valley. together with a few other friends we bought a lightweight woodstove, found a sweet (hidden) basecamp about three miles up the valley, and started planning our winter adventures. a lack of snow (and an abundance of rain) kept our plans on hold until finally - mid-march! - winter arrived full force.

five adults, two babies, two dogs. (and ellis' and katmai's first winter camping trip together!) the first morning we woke to bright sunshine and calm. glorious! as we meandered farther up the valley floor we came across miles of flat, gorgeous meadows . . . with magical giant cottonwoods populating the riverbank . . . and the sight of a fresh avalanche to keep us on our toes.

i LOVE this valley and the ridges that surround it. thank goodness for kevin's good ideas; for ellis' and katmai's willingness to go anywhere on their parents' backs; and for toivey breaking trail the whole way there and back.

and - thank goodness for a warm home to return to! the snowdrifts were thigh-deep as we waded back to the house this afternoon, and the wind is still whipping around outside . . . feels just as good to have a warm bath and a big bed to slide into.

two sweethearts

2010-02-10T14:13:00.000-08:00

it dawned on me the other night as i watched the little guy sleeping, sprawled out across our bed, looking more and more like a big boy, that i probably should've been writing about him from the very beginning . . . what i am amazed by daily. writing due to the fear of forgetting. that doesn't seem possible at the moment - forgetting - but i also know my damara-brain and that most solid memories and facts and day-to-day particulars get lost along the way. so, just a few words: sweaty head after napping against me; the bright eyes and quick breathing every time he opens the bathroom cabinet door; his fake cry; the two minutes of low moaning before he falls asleep each night; uncontrollable laughter each time the toivey-dog sneezes; how he loves to drink water, gulping and gulping; how his face lights up when his pa walks in the door; the conversational tone as he "talks" - usually explaining, sometimes complaining, always telling me how it is.

bathing with ma

2010-02-09T13:30:00.000-08:00

the little guy sure likes to have fun in the water -
damara says she's going to make sure he is not afraid of water like his papa.
lately, every saturday we've been taking ellis to the pool at the school.
he's loving it. cheers, andy.

ellis gazing at papa

2010-01-08T23:43:00.000-08:00

good day all!
i took this pic of ellis during our walk down to mcdonald spit.
gotta love em...cheers, andy.

the little man . . . hard at work

2009-11-05T21:09:00.000-08:00

and . . . tap dancing is silly

2009-11-05T20:54:00.000-08:00

Look Who's Four Months!

2009-10-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

hi, everyone. thought you might enjoy this pic of ellis - we sure do.

red gold

2009-08-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

check out that red!
each time i closed my eyes the night we caught this biggie i saw hundreds of blue-gray fish streaming by in all directions. i think we caught 18 reds that evening, and night after night we kept going back to catch our limit. it has been a summer of abundance, indeed!

for years andy and i have wanted to build a smoker and try our hands at making "squaw candy" (salmon jerky) and canning kippered (smoked) salmon. after six years of talk, we finally did it! andy built the smoker this spring, then the july run of red salmon hit . . . and we've been fishing, smoking, canning, and chowing down ever since. it's a time-consuming process - but a beautiful one - and that red gold is so worth it in the end.

cut and tied salmon ready for the brine

the smoker at work

strips hanging

packed jars ready for the canner

it's funny, people say having a baby slows you down . . . and it does, for sure; but i think it slows us down in a really good way. it's no longer the rush of building projects and our hectic minds scrambling about, but teamwork as we share what we love with our son . . . slowing down and filling our lives with what we think is important. maybe that's the gushy romantic in me coming out, but as i sit here typing, my two "guys" upstairs sleeping, and our bellies full of beautiful salmon that will sustain us all winter long, it just seems right.

gotta love that guy. :)

go, ellis!

2009-07-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

the little big man is now a month old . . . and learning all sorts of new tricks! he is a real "talker" - especially at night - and he cracks us up with all his dramatic grunts and snorts and little gopher sounds. he even snores sometimes (another andy snorelentz? good lord!) and that just makes me shake my head. i've also come to realize that i LOVE taking naps with the little guy. it's the best part of my day . . . the two of us taking an afternoon siesta together, him falling asleep on my chest, heart to heart. it's the greatest feeling in the world. these pics are from some of his "firsts":

first tent camping trip. ellis was awesome, but, amidst the awkward 3 a.m. nursing session, we had the revelation that we need a bigger tent.

first real bath with momma. he wasn't quite sure what the hell was going on, but calmed immediately to the feeling of water over that big belly.

first time playing with katmai. (4 months older than ellis, and one of the many new baby boys in town . . . they'll be running wild together in the woods one day soon . . .)

Three Weeks

2009-07-05T21:51:00.000-07:00

Greetings everyone.
I (Andy) took these photos from Ellis's first boat camping trip to Tutka Lagoon last week. We (ma, pa, elli, toivey, and our good friend kevin) were pampered with endless sunshine and calm seas - What fun! We even got to try out our new toy: 14' tandem rowing wherry that I finished recently. The boat performed flawlessly. Ellis especially enjoyed the boat ride nestled in mama's chest. He was wide eyed and alert the whole time. Cheers, Andy.

Ellis Robert Lorentz

2009-06-18T17:18:00.001-07:00

The little (big) man made his big debut June 13th at 7:08 in the morning. He came out strong and beautiful - 9.5 lbs. and 22 1/2 inches long - after a good 16 hours of drug-free labor. We love him!!

waiting for waddell

2009-06-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

our ultrasound due date (may 27) came and went, and now our original due date (june 10) has come and gone . . . and as we wait it out in homer, we're relearning the art of patience. jokes abound that "of course this baby is late: it's a damara-baby and she's always late." so, a taste of my own medicine, i guess . . . but it also just makes sense . . . of course this baby is going to come whenever it damn well pleases! :)

and although this is day 11 in homer, things could be far worse. for one, it's sunny and beautiful; AND we just moved out of the cramped hotel room into our friend linda's house . . . big deck, lots of space, almost feels like home; AND we've been going on long hikes every day - to get that babe moving! (two days ago we saw a brown bear sitting in the grass up on crossman's ridge . . . it was the first brown either of us has ever seen on the kenai peninsula, and it was BIG . . . and we were the perfect distance away (ie: far), with binoculars in our pack. so cool!); AND andy has gotten some serious "sports center" catch-up time on the old tube, while i've gotten to finish all the knitting i procrastinated over this winter.

we've also decided on the names we'll tell the child we almost named him/her . . . you know, when he/she complains that their own name is weird. waddell for a boy, and erlene for a girl. :)

so, hopefully - next time - pics of the babe.

sunshine, dirt, fruit, friends

2009-05-15T19:08:00.000-07:00

37 weeks. feels pretty crazy to be entering this final stage of my pregnancy. the whole thing has just felt like being on the brink of some big, ordinary mystery i know i can't fully comprehend . . . and the specific feeling of which i know will never come again. it's hard to explain, but it feels pretty magical.

and the weather here has been SWEET! the last two weeks have been pure sunshine, and i almost have both garden spaces in . . . kale and carrots and onions and beets and broccoli. peas and strawberries and potatoes and pumpkins! calendula and strawflowers and lavender and rosemary . . . basil and dill and parsley. yum!

ati is here right now, and she and andy are making me laugh - (extra) big belly laughs.

belly shots

2009-04-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

so i've been pretty shy about my expanding belly, but andy finally hassled me into taking some pics. i'm at about 32 weeks in this photo.

this is a combo house / ash-fall from redoubt pic (the first time the ash came down . . . when it was just a scattering on the snow and kinda cool to tromp around in). the truck picture below is when lots came down (the second time) and then blew around in the wind for a few days . . . and it was not so cool . . . although good for the garden, i guess.

and then we have our new dry rack! with freshly washed diapers hanging!

andy's goal this winter was to get us running water - so we could have a washer and a shower before the baby came - and he succeeded in style! it is amazing to take a shower in the house. and super fun to watch a load of laundry wash. (maybe SOUNDS kinda lame, but very entertaining in april when it is snowing.)

and . . . home surgery! . . . just kidding. these are the pitfalls of the carpentry trade. sometimes it's just really fun to take disgusting pictures.

well finally

2009-03-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

my sleep patterns have been bizarre lately, but that's kinda good, because in the wee hours of the morning there's not much else to do but surf the net and finally post the hawaii pics i've been promising to my fam.

so, for starters: what a hunk, eh?

and then there's the "big girl." you can sorta see my tummy in this picture . . . i'm at about 6 months here. oh, and i'm lounging in the SWEET! hammock we set up at our favorite beach on the big island.

and here we are near the end . . . tan and full of fruit . . . and feeling not-really-pregnant at all.

and here is a picture of COWS! andy and i rented bikes one day and went for the loveliest ride through farmland way up in the hills. it felt incredible to get on the old bike again . . . and fun to practice our minnesota cow calls - it always works! - and feel that pure giddiness as the cows ran alongside the fencerow with us.

the landscape definitely stirred up all those farm-girl dreams of mine. and just the sunshine and the moist air and floating in the waves . . . makes us both wonder why we chose so far north to live.

but, in the next thought, i have to say we know why: less people and traffic and american noise . . . and the people that ARE here are good ones . . . and we can live the way we want - hauling water and no siding and no mortgage - and it's not weird . . . and, also, a super superb place to raise up some crazy korean/greek children.

but oh, how i miss sandal and skirt wearing in march.

hi there!

2009-01-17T21:35:00.000-08:00

yep, it's what it looks like: little andy jr.
or, little damara jr.!

our first ultrasound went really well. everything is growing as it should; we got to see cross-sections of the brain developing and the four chambers of the heart beating . . . and watched as the babe snarfed down amniotic fluid. we also stayed true to our word and kept the gender a surprise. so fun. :) wondering, wondering about so many things. i guess it's all just starting to become very real - there's a little person growing in there! - and very exciting.

lots of kicking these days . . . and the due date got moved up to may 27. with this crazy spring break-up weather lately (it was 45 degrees today as i walked on the beach . . . so nice!), it makes may seem not too far away.

gunsight mtn. goat-getting and etc.

2008-08-14T01:19:00.000-07:00

kevin, andy, and i went camping last weekend up in the mountains. it was glorious. sunny, breezy, wildflowers in full bloom. we were technically searching for mountain goats to hunt, but mostly we were just gallivanting around our insanely beautiful backyard. here is the three of us on top of gunsight mountain, which looks down on our valley. (you could see mark/tracy's and chris/amy's from the top!)

and here is my oinker of a husband . . . who ate all our snacks in the first night . . . but who also proudly wore the chairman mao hat i made for him.

and here i am, looking professional as i tote a gun . . . while getting a tan - of course!

on our first day we hiked across two passes (of sorts) and camped at a lake that looked down on barabara valley. as we scouted for goats with the binoculars we spied the infamous dump truck that is located at the headwaters of the creek. so cool. we hiked down and explored around . . . and saw FISH! in the creek. (so far upstream seems impossible . . . but, like the dump truck, there they were.)

so good to get out . . . these final summer days are so precious. and i feel pretty damn lucky not to be feeling the pangs of anxiety that usually come before school starts. early retirement rocks! i get to do all the things i want to do at the end of summer . . . pick blueberries, fill the freezer with garden stuff, make jams and pies, stack wood, go camping with friends. it's strange . . . people keep asking what i plan to do now that i'm not teaching. it seems like such a crazy question. i plan to do THIS.

"one-set kind of girl"

2008-07-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

one more week left. i just finsihed up an intense day of solo beach seining . . . and my field camp cohorts say i'm turning into a rocker fisherwoman. (blush) for the third day in a row i netted approximately 190 sockeye in one set. that's a lot of fish to round up in one swoop of the net and hand-pluck into the live box! pretty good for a rookie! and i do kinda love it . . . quiet on the water, physical and challenging to do it all by yourself, and suspenseful throwing a bit of luck to the wind in hopes of a good catch.

but wow . . . talk about a sore lower back. my awe of commerical fishermen has quadrupled since i've been out here.

also. sitting in that tower, watching the salmon swim by hour after hour, listening to the birds and the rain on the trees, i've re-remembered that i always want to live somewhere where i can freely pee outside. sounds silly, but it's kind of essential. life for me has mostly been figuring out what i don't want - in lovers and jobs and ways of life - but this is something i know i always want. daily peeing in the grass. no doubt!

yesterday the most lovely package arrived from our good friend kevin. it was sitting on the kitchen table after i came in from seining by myself in the pouring rain. beautiful. filled with lovely things: whiskey, a nerf basketball hoop, magazines to read, jelly beans, a hot pink recorder flute, playing cards, magic tricks, beer. truly the perfect field camp care package. spent the night with my housemates drinking whiskey, laughing, trying out the recorder, and telling stories. i'm pretty sure it doesn't get much better.

here's video of graham and i fishing for pike.

Barn door coming up

2008-07-06T21:52:00.001-07:00

It's Andy's first official blog entry. And, I'm dedicating this post to my wife, damara (who I miss dearly).

I thought you might enjoy watching your dorky husband at sea. Cheers.

with love from field camp

2008-06-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

i'm on the wood river right now, just outside of dillingham, counting spawning sockeye as they swim by. basically i sit in a metal "tower" perched 25 feet above the river, and click a little button with my thumb for each fish that swims by. yesterday afternoon - in one ten-minute time span - i counted over 1,900 reds. it's insane. it's like watching a river marathon from above, and i can't help but cheer them on. these are the survivors. they've lived a life at sea, escaped commerical fishermen, and are coming home to die.

the "camp" i'm at is also totally plush: running water, laundry, and as you can tell, nearby internet. (blogging! it feels kinda silly . . .)

cool things that i'm learning:
1. how to drive the skiff FAST (oh yeah!) and then pull up like a professional at the gravel bank;
2. how to botch a good skiff landing even when i thoroughly rehearse the steps in my head beforehand;
3. how to set the net for beach seineing (my favorite!);
4. how to tie a clove-hitch knot;
5. how to fake that i understand when science people talk science talk;
6. how to make betty crocker meatloaf;
7. how to spend entire days reading books and eating soup and taking naps;
8. how to say "roger that" over the side-band radio; (simon's favorite quote from my training: "i want to say 'roger, roger'. when do i get to say 'roger, roger'??")
9. how to fully appreciate the virtues of the dillingham radio show "open-line" - which is similar to "bush lines" on kbbi only you get to call in yourself and talk on air. (it is mostly a lot of happy birthdays, but sometimes a real jaw-dropper will come along. my partner, graham, said he once heard an old man call in ordering his wife to come home. it went something like: "charlene. YOU.COME.HOME.NOW. you're married, and i'm your husband." on air . . . can you imagine? painful and funny at the same time, and very alaska.)
10. how to dive into a moving skiff while standing off-shore in a foot of moving water. snippet of conversation from yesterday's boat pick-up:
me: (half in boat, one leg in, other trailing in water, butt in air, face planted on bow seat)"hi."
graham: "i could've pulled in closer."
me: "pretty gazelle-like, huh?"
graham: "yeah. sure was."

anyways, all is well - alive, and happy, and learning.

so proud

2008-05-15T23:17:00.000-07:00

OMG who would've thunk it? me - a sewing gal!

i am really proud of this reversible bag. it's so pretty and made out of scraps from my first sewing projects.

here is my first skirt - ever. it has a zipper . . . what hell to make work . . . but i did it.

i feel so darn fashionable, and also so capable! turn up bearfoot bluegrass, drink a corona or two, follow a pattern . . . and it just sorta all comes together.

finally!

2008-05-14T01:06:00.000-07:00

i don't know what my deal was for the last month or so - stopped blogging, stopped checking email, barely returned phone calls. bad daughter / bad friend. and then tonight, as i was tiptoeing our sloppy trail in the half-dark, i was thinking of all those i missed. friends giving birth, friends in big-life transitions, friends living on sailboats (!), friends that have passed elsewhere. everyone in her own separate space, and yet we carry each other in each step.

sorry i'm so lame at keeping in touch.

another "finally": 6 more days of school! wow - so excited for gardens and ducks and blueberry bushes - and yet i know i'm gonna miss those little buggers, too. graduation this year is seven boys - all of whom i had (my first year of teaching!) as skinny/chunky eighth graders. truly good kids, every last one of them.

went to san francisco a few weeks ago with five students - i love traveling with random groups of kids . . . i guess it's the freaky combinations of personalities all meshing, like family. i love it. and - teaching high school girls my own funky carpenter skills (they rock!) and hatching out chickens in the home ec room together and learning to sew side by side. (i finished my first skirt tonight! I AM SO PROUD. me + sewing + fitting = miracle. thanks goes entirely to ila! i'm hooked!) and story-writing about family. tough stuff and they are willing to go there . . . i'm gonna miss all that.

but also REALLY looking forward to late-late nights. (i am already starting to make the transition, as you can tell from a 1 a.m. blog.) and bike riding, and being on the water, and digging in dirt, and being with friends - again.

okay, picture time. oaxaca trip, to start. cute skirt to come!

from that jack black movie.

sea turtles. my favorite.

it'd be lovely if i knew how to rotate this picture of my handsome husband.

and where is the really cool picture of me looking like a pro as i boogie-board?? (some may say it doesn't exist, but, like my singing voice, i know in my heart i'm really, really good.)

oohhh-la-la

2008-03-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

yesterday i felt the need to get out of the house, but it was all rain/sleet/slop outside. so instead i went out into our soon-to-be-finished sauna and piddled around. lit a fire; put up t & g in the entryway; took measurements for the rock-holder one of the shop kids is going to weld for us. then suddenly it got hot. like 140 hot, even with the big-ass window we put in and a sideways wind making things chilly outside. goodness, it was nice! first i striped down to my undies and sat amongst the tools on the bench. then i moved all the tools and it was just pure nakedness and sweat rolling down my sides and snowflakes fluttering towards the window. (that window was the best thing we could have done!) so, the sauna works!! and stretched out by my lonesome in that heat was pure, unexplainable, bliss.

okay, all you ladies out there: i think a tuesday knitting / sauna night at our place is officially in the works. (it'd be my first true knitting hosting ever . . . gez what a mooch i am!) and, all you non-seldovian friends, here is another excellent reason to visit this summer: i promise we won't put you to work on digging projects, and instead we can do the nightly sauna-sweat-indulge, complete with under the sky gin & tonics.

god, is anyone else ready for summer?

oh yes

2008-02-25T19:11:00.000-08:00

these are pics from last march - spring skiing up on graduation ridge. march is just five days away - yow! - and it is currently 6:42 p.m. and not yet dark outside. i'm already planning new garden spaces, scouring seed catalogs, designing new additions to the cabin, and dreaming up reasons why i don't have to get a job this summer. (see: some people ski during the winter, while others pretend to be teaching; then, in the summer, some people get to lay in the sun, while others log long hours pounding nails. the problem is that some people don't ski enough during the winter and then still have to work in the summer. that makes for bad juju (and no new additions) and is why i probably WILL work this summer. don't worry, dad.) anyways, march = april = may. yeehaw!

brighter days

2008-02-16T14:22:00.000-08:00

wow. sorry about that last post. it was a rough day.

i've been trying to download this goofy video of my goofy husband skiing with the crew (ya gotta love him - he doesn't care that he hasn't showered for a month, has duct tape on his pants, and boogers hanging out of his nose), but i can't get it to work. darnnit. anyways, the two pictures are of our new inverter system. it's fancy! all you do is press a button and - voila! - the lights come on. don't ask me how it works. all i know is we no longer have to run the generator all the time to have electricity. such progressive backwoods folks we are.

i'm so frustrated i want to just go to bed

2008-02-13T19:39:00.000-08:00

ugh. i want to vent, but i can't because i'm a public school employee, and that just makes me all the more frustrated. i hope all bigoted decision-makers at central office are reading this. (okay, not really. i hope you are all quietly reading the NEA news, or something.) i guess it's just frustrating to try to approach teaching creatively - because that makes me feel good - and then to be shot down, again and again, by the fucking bureacratic machine. and i am even TRYING to jump through the hoops. and still, it doesn't work. and i wish i had more resiliency towards bureacray and stupid fucks - because, man, both are thick in public schools - but i quickly lose umph because the whole education system is so screwed up and upside down and contradictory, and here i am, part of it.
and there goes another kid shuffling off to class.
it just makes me sad, all the way around.

131 / 83

2008-02-04T00:35:00.000-08:00

i just got back from my first winter bike ride of the season. before that, i smoked my last cigarette, threw the rest in the fire, and took my blood pressure using the walmart-special machine my dad sent us earlier this year. 131 over 83. that’s flippin high! yesterday, ati’s registered at 116/69. damn her and her denali-summiting abilities! but really, it’s time for me to get my act together. so this afternoon i took my bike down, checked the studded tires, pulled on warm puffy gloves and rode to dede’s and back – which is nothing – and felt my heart being squeezed through the tight grip of some evil-evil hand. four degrees outside, i struggled for my breath, silently cursed toivey for running in the road, and barely noticed the pink sun blaze across the mountains. a sweaty head and runny nose by the time i got back home – and i am only writing about this in my current state of general depletion because i want you to kick me in the ass if you see me faltering in this no more roll-ums endeavor.

back in eggs

2008-01-15T00:20:00.000-08:00

the other day i came home from a shopping excursion to soldotna (i brought home a bathtub in the boat – pretty cool!) and as I was hauling the groceries down the trail to the house i stopped to check in on the chickens. and to my surprise: eggs! lots of them! these gals are the “survivor” chicks from the bear incident this summer. (they were under heat lights in the house, growing their feathers, and thereby avoided gruesome death.) now they’re busting out pretty little eggs! that makes me happy.

another thing that makes me happy: singing ani difranco (“in a coffee shop / in a city / which is every coffee shop / in every city”) in my classroom – alone, of course – because it has a really cool accordion part, and because i am going to become a famous righteous babe someday. then, walked from my room to discover a pudgy little fourth grader standing in the hallway – heard the whole thing – giving me big mischievous “caught you” eyes. later, I ordered the kick-ass birthday boots i’ve been eyeing for the last month – black, tall, eye-lets, with zips. saucy.

oh. and one more thing: read this in the gretel erlich book (“this cold heaven”) today: “it is easy to see how all storms and all loves are merely local weather, how, with patience, one can always find a hole through which to fly.”

it makes winter become the passing thing that it is; it makes life shorter, and singing all the more mandatory.

totally blogging this

2008-01-02T02:23:00.000-08:00

alternate titles: "the cost of living is high, but damn, the entertainment is cheap" or "welcome to the neighborhood" or "we figure out how to use the video button on our camera" or "multi-function cheese grater".

other ideas??

my big debut

2007-12-27T20:56:00.000-08:00

andy took video of me practicing the first song i ever learned on the accordion . . . and here it is! from our home to yours, via the crazy internet. (two posts in one day? sharon bond, this is for you!)

dad-dles

2007-12-27T18:23:00.000-08:00

we've had some problems downloading pics lately, but i think we've got it figured out now. here is pops. i'm actually taller - despite what the photo shows - although not as wise. he's only been here two days, but we have already put him to work shoveling wet, heavy snow. i have also yet to persuade him to go down our luge run, but i'll keep bugging him and hopefully he'll give it a try soon . . . between sledding, picking on my dad, and starting to "get" the accordion, my last day in my twenties is just as i would wish it to be.

we're stranded

2007-12-23T17:41:00.000-08:00

YEAHHHHH! we had a mad rush early this morning trying to get our crap together so we could get out of town before the big snow really starts to fall, but alas, it was not meant to be. we're stuck! and i'm happy. unpacked the bags, got the pajamas back on. i think toivey is the only one really bummed because she doesn't get to sleep over at stella's house tonight. anyways, we're home, the snow is piling up, a big yellow moon has been out every night, and we've officially made the turn towards light! friday was solstice, 9:08 p.m., and the halfway mark for the school year. now that's truly joyous.

yesterday i finished up my last grades, then drew and i took turns going down our kick-ass new sled run. definitely heart-pumping (knee) anxiety while airborne. too fun! and then last night, after eating dinner with seldovia's best neighborhood clan, we witnessed the crazy brightness of the moon on the snow. there it was - huge and glowing - and here we are, tucked away, side-tracked, thankful, giddy, all of us spinning towards brighter days.

hope you all are exactly where you need to be.

enough said

2007-12-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

OH YEH! i saw sandy elvsass at the craft fair today and she said she'd give me accordian lessons! i'm in deep need of help. as the pictures above attest to, i look retarded and have absolutely no style or tone or anything. but i play like i think i do. which means as soon as i bring the accordian out, nikos bolts upstairs and hides under the bed.
i've been in this weird space lately - sorta anti-social, but in a real goofy way. like today i dug through boxes and found my old tap shoes and started dancing like crazy on the wood floors . . . the first time in four years. f-ing fun! and last night i stayed up until 4 reading a book that's been stashed on my bookcase for a long time (teacher man, by frank mccourt), and it turned out to be a really good read. surprising to me - because it's about teaching high school - but (i hate to admit this for some reason) after reading it i feel re-inspired to give teaching my all, instead of just sliding through the days, like i have been lately.

anyways, while i've been napping during the day and staying up until the wee hours of the night, andy has been hard at work, as usual. (except right now, as i'm writing, he's napping on the couch - just like to point that out!) he is the best husband. he is building us a sauna. (shown here) and he doesn't even complain that i am a lazy bitch. i guess we all find our own way to get through the darkness of december. bar or work or sleep or eat or sex or fight or buy or blog.

stormy days

2007-11-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

it's sunday afternoon, stormy as all get out, snow is gone, massive trees bending like twigs all around our house, a newly formed river running through our trail, sheets of metal roofing splayed across the property from the strong winds . . . and man, i couldn't feel more content being where i am right now. still in pajamas, a cup of coffee, a conversation with my pa, a warm fire burning, npr on the radio, rain pelting the windows, the low hum of the generator in the background, water boiling on the stove, cookbooks out, thinking bread. just feeling blessed. not bittersweet, nostaliga blessed, but solid in my slippers blessed.

big love to you all.

dreams of accordians / nakedness / nice old men

2007-11-16T22:31:00.000-08:00

i've been pretend blogging the last few weeks (ie: lazy posts) because i've been sucked into the world of ebay. holy cow! accordians! accordians!! accordians!!!!! i've become a little accordian nut. i wake up in the morning: ebay. i come home from school: nap, then ebay. it's very addictive. and i don't even know how to play the accordian! but, man, big dreams i have for myself. polkas, cajun zydeco - i don't really care what i learn as long as it is danceable. i guess it's the romantic in me. i have old memories of a beautiful brazilian mtu friend playing the accordian naked. (keiko. anyone out there remember the daily mining gazette article about him playing naked at the laundromat in hancock? and some old finn called the cops? i must still have a crush on that boy . . . ) and these are the aspirations i have for myself? my poor mother. my poor employer. good thing the sweet n' clean is closed down. plus, my only possible teacher in town is sunni hilts. which . . . yeah. changes things.

but, truly. i want to make music so others will dance. i want to bellow and yip and stomp my feet. and i definitely want those accordian straps - like suspenders - but way more cool. it's like armor for girls with no musical talent and nice old men with beer bellies. i want that!

i've even promised andy that if i get one, i will practice. i won't just stare in a mirror and smile and make whooshing movements with my arms. i will practice! i will one day become an amazing accordian player who inspires millions to clean their clothes while playing polkas . . .

reality check #1: i don't really like to get naked in front of a bunch of people. i like to watch other people - preferrably cute brazilian boys with good accents - get naked.

reality check #2: i am just trying to persuade myself to place a bid on ebay for a beautiful, cheap, probably out-of-tune, old one-row hohner. and it's working! because i've just remembered another thing: the other day i told my students that eleanor roosevelt quote - "you must do the thing you think you cannot do" - and so, i am going to take my own advice and be a good role model for our youth and buy an accordian off ebay and learn how to play it even though i have no musical talent whatsoever. i can pretend for awhile that i do have talent, and then maybe i'll get better. and maybe our neighborhood really will form a whacked-out band, and then maybe i really will get better. either way: i'll get to bellow and yip and stomp. which is something. which is everything. which is why . . . yeah, i'm headed there right now.

hello, my name is mark

2007-11-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

we all need some pure goofiness - especially in november - and mark is a damn fine source.

this picture is sorta inappropriate, but tracy's blog inspired me.
this is what happens when ati and i get together. and, these ARE the effects of a constant rain + beer + "brick house," for those who are curious.

ah, that ati! i miss her.

splashing about

2007-11-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

guess whose birthday? you got it! the big 3-3, he is. and these photos were from 25 years ago. now that's crazy. i especially love the intertube photo. something about the light . . .

before the snow really starts to fall

2007-10-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

why is it so hard to learn from our lessons? i'm not sure. but i feel like i've been repeating the same mistakes since i was like 19. it's silly. for instance. i re-remembered today as i was re-shoveling gravel down our atv-trail that i hate big machinery.

the short story: andy hand-dug an atv-trail this summer (so we could drive down to the house) and then, a few weeks ago, we had the opportunity to use free gravel for a car pull-off spot on top of the road. free gravel! place to park! these are positive improvements. and the pull-off turned out great, but it also made the atv-trail steeper. so then - and this is where things start to get messy - we had a friend come with his little bob-cat to try to even-out the grade of the trail. we wanted to get it done before the snow really started to fall. it was night. it was raining. the bob-cat got stuck. and now, everything is torn to shit. today, after work, we were back at square one: hand-digging our atv-trail to make everything ok again.

the sad part is that i learned this from my father, long ago, when the woods at the farm got hacked to pieces when it was logged, in october. so here it is, october, ten years later, our own land, and we're trying to rush shit with big machinery, but in the process, making things worse.

dad would say, "things grow back."

thank god for that.

hehho-hehho

2007-10-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

"hehho-hehho" is a strange, sorta-degrading cajun term i learned from my older brother (the rye-guy) this past weekend. i'm not quite sure what it means. but i know louisianders (is that a word??) get pissed and roll their eyes when you say it, and therefore, it's very fun to say. i think we'll name our first child hehho.

here's photos of that handsome andy fella at the tux rental place (minus the vest and tie, which together, were seriously dashing).

"i better stand up straight if i have to stand next to miss louisiana"

2007-10-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

this is true.

in the wedding party line-up they ACTUALLY have me standing next to the former miss louisiana (and runner up in the miss america pagent). her name is jennifer. she's very blond, very nice. it's like my brother's sick idea of a joke. i mean talk about hell on the old self-esteem. i was worried i'd be the fat, weird girl at this southern wedding . . . and shit, i hate it when my fears come true.

but. i get to see andy in a tux. and i get to see my brother - one of the truly finest people i know - on the happiest of days. (favorite ryan quote from the rehearsal dinner speech last night: "today is the happiest day of my life. because tomorrow i'll be married to you." poor guy! his intentions were so GOOD . . .)

anyways, it's time to put on those six-inch heels (fear two: falling down steps, hurting knee, dress flying above head) and prepare myself for a night of dancing . . . screw that miss louisiana!

ps. long, documented series of "andy all dressed up" coming soon!

ADDENDUM:
I REGRET ALL I SAID/THOUGHT/IMAGINED ABOUT MS. LOUISIANA. SHE TURNED OUT TO BE A VERY GOOD PERSON. SHE GAVE ME HOPE FOR AMERICA! OR SOMETHING. LIKE: DESPITE THE FACT THAT RACISIM IS ALIVE AND WELL THROUGHOUT OUR COUNTRY, AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THE RICH ARE GETTING RICHER BECAUSE THE POOR ARE GETTING POORER, AND DESPITE A MILLION OTHER SAD TRUTHS ABOUT THIS LAND OF "UNITED" PEOPLE . . . WELL, AT LEAST THIS BEAUTY PAGEANT WINNER TURNED OUT TO BE A KIND, GENEROUS, HUMBLE, OPEN-MINDED GAL.
. . . ALSO. WE FORGOT TO BRING THE CAMERA TO THE WEDDING. WOOPS! SO, "COMING SOON" IS ONLY PART ONE OF AN UNFINISHED PHOTO SERIES OF THAT HANDSOME ANDY FELLA.

we're making a yard!

2007-09-30T18:56:00.000-07:00

okay, not a yard, really. we won't be purchasing a riding lawn mower anytime soon, or anything. but we have been clearing the alder patch in front of the house and devising plans for apple trees, strawberries, razberries, and the like. (a fruit yard!) i love this time of year. even when it rains too much. there is something about all the tourists being gone and everyone coming down off the summer rush (yet the february edge hasn't set in yet) and those fall get togethers - dancing, whiskey, and the neighborhood bus ride home - and burning piles of brush. it almost makes me want to invest in a big stump cutter-outer (what are those things called, anyways?). i'll quit teaching and go into the brush-clearing business! the crazy part is that i'm slightly serious. anyways, here are a few picts of my favorite fall-time things: the last flowers from the garden + muddy boots, napping by the stove, and crazy chain-saw andy.

we're talking seldovia standards here

2007-09-21T00:18:00.000-07:00

i had this whole long venting blog, which i thought was pretty funny (i would), but andy said it was "bottom of the barrel" and that i was adding to the problem. so you get nothing. sorry. he's keeping me in line, which is probably a good thing.

when it's low tide our internet sucks

2007-09-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

so i had this conversation with sharon this weekend. it went something like this:

s: how do you have internet?
d: i dunno. there's this thing in the trees and then we've just got it. (shrug)
s: huh.
d: but when it's low tide it's really slow.
s: huh. (drink of margarita) that'd make a good blog entry.

so there you have it. inarticulate linwood jabber. it seems crazy - like another one of andy's goofy hypotheses/predictions/facts - but it's a tested theory, so it really IS true. low tide means our internet is fricking s-l-o-w. andy says it has something to do with the reflection off the water affecting something or other over on the homer side, but he's also been known to shoot off crazy minnesota caribou facts, unprompted, at the drop of a hat. (that andy!) all i know is it took me like a gazillion years to download this snazzy picture of him with his monster salmon. it's a silver; he caught it last weekend in the river, fishing with renfro.

dreaming of saunas

2007-09-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

this photo is the view from the one-day-sauna spot, looking back up at the house. it seems like we've been talking about building a sauna forever. i have sauna layout drawings in old notebooks from the days of living in the chicken-coop. and maybe?, finally?, we're getting a bit closer to the real deal. we've got the spot picked out; we've got the sauna stove; and we've received the competitve nudge from mark and tracy up the hill. (they fired theirs up last weekend - the first in the neighborhood! - and it was lovely, lovely, lovely. so hot. laying on the grass afterwards, sipping gin & tonics, talking girl talk with the girls . . . man, there's just nothing else like a red-hot sauna and good friends to sweat with.) so, all we need is money, which will hopefully, miraculously, appear in our hands any day now. (by the way, what's up with this once-a-month-school-district-bullshit-paycheck? that's dumb.) andy has even promised to build a fiberglass wood tub to soak in. and the rain and cool temperatures and dying fireweed and dark nights, and. . . and . . . and . . . it all just makes your body ache for that good heat.

two years

2007-09-03T11:48:00.001-07:00

today is our two-year anniversary! we slept in late and, at the moment, we're sitting at the kitchen table together, drinking coffee, eating Minnesota pancakes (so good!), and feeling mighty blessed. we spent the weekend camping with some crazy friends (mostly tracy . . . she moons children) up tutka bay. the "eye jay" was loaded down - nine people, four dogs, and all the gear. and tonight we'll eat at the madfish (the last night they're serving until next season) with our friend kevin. a fire is in the stove; my very handsome husband is flipping through the world atlas; toivey is crashed out on her bed; nikos is snoozing on the couch. it's all the very small things that make us feel so damn lucky.

the summer of six feet under . . .

2007-08-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

. . . is over. crap. i was in a continual state of tears while we watched the last three episodes of six feet (gez, who knew a tv show could be so damn GOOD, eh?) and poor andy had to hear me go on and on about death/life/death as we took our nightly walks down the road. anyways, those days are over. i'm in the thralls of teaching now (but, notice, blogging instead of preparing for classes. YEAH!) and andy is back to pounding nails in the rain. that's the way it goes. here's some pictures from over the summer: at the farm with my super-cool bike / our first "thanks, amanda" IKEA purchase (wine rack; we are so ready for winter!) / and the snore-elentz - at it again.

holy biting flies!

2007-08-14T01:17:00.000-07:00

the last few days here have been strangely HOT - and with the heat comes these awful biting flies that are basically the stuff of legend in our neighborhood. (if they get real bad, we've all been known to go swimming in jakalof.) today was one of those days. in the few minutes i spent outside in the garden - trying to cut all our kale for the freezer - i mostly just cursed very loudly (i'm sure dave and janet think my revenge will be ruthless and psycho) and flung wildly with my scissors. sometimes i can get so damn dramatic, but i swear, those flies are BAD. anyways, with the heat also came my first real garden flower (calendula) of the season; i am swelling with pride at this very moment!

honda camping

2007-08-13T01:25:00.000-07:00

Andy and I finally got our sorry asses off the property a few days ago and went camping at Red Mountain. Loaded up the Honda, left Nikos at home on the couch, and set out to sleep out under the stars. So nice! Saw Kachemak Bay AND Kodiak from the ridge, ate mac & cheese with tuna for dinner, told stories about the crazy Ati-Beaver Creek-360 mile-No Paddle-Kayak Trip from last summer (the smell of dry bags brought it all back . . .), and tried to share the tent with Toivey. Also swam in the creekbed the next morning, and that gave me inspiration for my THIRTY YEARS / THIRTY SWIMS goal. (I'm turning thirty this December - and feeling a bit woozy about the whole thing - and I wanted to do something to celebrate my pumping heart and flowing blood; and, I suppose, to do something to literally revel in those lovely moments that "take my breath away." Anyways, I've decided to try to swim in thirty different bodies of water over the course of the next year - six months before and six months after the big day - and I'm hoping this little blog will help keep me on track!) So, this was swim #3, and it was as cold as it looks.